My two best songs!!

I love music. At the same time I like to dance.Though its been a long time I had a good dance (Mo's bach eve- I think..),I never loose sight of the current trend in music;I cant even cos my kid brother's also crazy about music and would update me if and when I'm not.

For me,its necessary to always have some music playing device in my bag, either an mp3,ipod or my large memory fone (I have the 3)....so in other words, everytime u walk past my office, you'd see earphones stuck in my ear phones stuck in my ears.Infact,music sets me in the right mood for the day...Or shows how happy I am (cos then I get to sing out aloud and dance or shake my head in the elevator on my way to work).

I like all kinds of music...infact ,my collection's split into gospel(for days I feel in the spirit) and non- gospel(for days I feel like rocking).From rap,to soul to R & B,to jazz,to hip hop,fuji,apala,reggae,gospel,et al.I especially like Nigerian music,makes me feel connected to my people,and makes the dancing sweeter and more Nigerian...

I've got best songs depending on the wave they make at that point in time, (like I get to delete some old songs on my phone after I get tired of them and need to free space to take more songs),however,there're some songs I just cant do without listening to and I'm sure will keep for a very very long time,like songs from Asa(all tracks in album) and 9ice....

Yes 9ice.I love his kind of music...Blending the very local yoruba raps with bits of english,in his very yoruba accent.I like the way he twists and turns Yoruba like he's some Kanye West. Infact there're 2 of his songs I listen to,nothing less than 5times a day(depending on how busy I am)- Sreet Credibility and Photocopy- I love the lyrics,and I dedicated some time to writing them out...

Excerpts...

PHOTOCOPY

INTRO

I be the new born king

new born king

CHORUS

Photocopy ko easy

You can never be like me

This is my identity

Teni teni, takisa ta tan

Apalara, igunpa ni yekan

Oba ara, Adigun ni baaleAlapomeji

Erinlakatabu baale Alapo plenty

VERSE 1

I told ya

You can never be like me

9ice, no be for free

Ko gba agidi, e ya lo ka A B D

E k' A B C, e joo same na ni

Itakun to so gba,

Tolohun o so yegede

Melo la fe ka

Ninu ehin adipele

I told ya

Egbe isu ko n'iyan

ajura wa lo jo

ani tijakadi ko

Ko ni jelo lati lo gbo superstar

I rock area,

only time to think about

I'm lyrically allowed

so you don't have to doubt

HOOK

If I no dey your partyYou know you are missing

You know omo ele no go plenty

You know guys no go happy

Cos they wan feel my rhyming

Adigun Alapomeji

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE 2

Ko le ye won

bomi se wo inu agbon

Lafe ani, awon alayonuso

ko si bo se le se to, ma fi ta won yo

Fakoyo, ju won lo, awon ati baba won.

current na me dey champion

Ilesanmi, mo lo dun j'oye lo

In this game, no actor

Akoka top son, carry on

Am like a tanwidi

And I go spread all over you like a disease

Epo bintin ti n boju ole je ni mi

Peace be unto those wey dey respect me

Enemies of blessing now, make you leave

my rhymes are so hot, they make you think

I place them on beats

Soon its dancing

REPEAT HOOK

REPEAT CHORUS

VERSE 3

9ice mi ile titi

Na the same beat I dey use

No be film trick

monkey yato si chimpanzee

I'm a coded tune pick,

who wan tackle me

Ere taja fogun odun sa kii faajin

ni f'eshin mi, adigun always moving

kaka ko remi, omo ma mure lodo

Omo akin ni mi, e o ti poto

Teba gbe ina kari, E ma ba ekun ni buba

Ogun odun taja ti s'eleyi, igbo l'obo wa

Orin n be n'ile, oro nbe l'agbala

Awon to binu ori, awon ma ti sun jaja

Eyin to sagidi, won ma ti retire.

REPEAT HOOK

REPEAT CHORUS (x2)

Yeko easy (x3)photocopy ko easy

STREET CREDIBILITY( with Tuface)

Verse 1

My name and game

Striking so hot

make you go insane

I be the chosen one

I remain oba ara of Naija land

My brain brain working all day

Like say I no be man made

The streets keep urging me to do more

Once more I come up with this brand new one

Bone animosity

I be the great one

Amebo e so ra yin I'm beyond your beef talk

Ojumo kan, imo kan, ere kan, ara kan, asa kan

Just like Chameleon

Olomo si kata l'oba agbado

Igi mu jina s'ori I think you should know

So, Abegi ooooo

Oba o le pe meji l"aafin

E ma lo ji soro

CHORUS

We"re the most incredible

Out of NaijaStraight from Naija

Street Credibility,

We get am

Check my fans,

Walahi aya e a ja

No be lie, hear am

No be lie, hear am

No be lie, Eyin mu j'abe lo

No be lie, Kinihun l"oba eran

Verse 2

[2face] As I come here before you

I go talk am as I see am

I no go use any sugar cover am

Call me your mallam

but I know you understand am

And I still go dey stress am

Say we no dey use gra gra do am

We always peacefully do it very nicely

We always try to wahala nobody

It's 2face and 9ice

Guaranteed to always always nice up your party

I know it sounds like bragging

But it"s true that I"m talking

Can't deny God's blessing Right now

we're at a zebra crossing

No cars are passing

It's just reality flashing

Owo cho je la lo ma-aaaa

enya,enya lo luku ma-aaaa

Dis one e no be shakara-aaaa

Dis one is surely confir-aaaa-med

REPEAT CHORUS

Verse 3

[9ice] Categorically I'm the best- Mentally

No gainsaying I'm the cutest - Physically

Don't doubt meI go bring home grammy

Incredibe, remarkable, unbeatable, palatable, reliable, yeah

Gudugudu, akinkanju, arakangudu, okunrin ogun,

yeah!! I"m made on the streets Why I no go blow

Originality work for me Why I no go show

Asa wa, ede wako sohun to da to

Na me dey want To the streets I belong

Enemy is a must if you want blow

Omo na turn by turn

Beg baba God make e reach your turn

If e just be, omo plenty by turn

Anyhow e go be omo just focusOn your way to the tooooop

REPEAT CHORUS x 2

Little money soonest spending

T'o ba l'owo je k'awon padi e je n'be, je n'be, je n'be, je n'be, je n'be,

Gongo aso, kutupu ahu

Anywhere I dey

You are my african queen

No be small thing o

Birth Control and Contraception Myths

My cousin's wife just had the 7th kid....WHAT!!!!! That was all I shouted when I heard.Infact we didnt see her all through the 9months and we live in this same Lagos...It was shame for her.Shame of carrying another pregnancy,the 7th one...To her,it was a mistake,probably in her contraception; but to the outside world,its just crazy. Well mistakes do happen and for those who dont believe in abortion,then its its important to take some information seriously.

There are a number of birth control methods that are highly effective in preventing pregnancy. There also is a lot of misinformation about how to use birth control, as well as some methods that simply do not work.

Following are some common myths regarding sex and contraception:
1. I'm breastfeeding so I can't get pregnant.
While breastfeeding tends to postpone ovulation, this is not a guarantee. Ovulation can occur even when a woman is breastfeeding. The nursing mother should use birth control if she wishes to avoid pregnancy.

2. You can't get pregnant if the woman doesn't have an orgasm.
Pregnancy occurs when a sperm from the man fertilizes an egg from the woman. While the man must ejaculate to release sperm, it is not necessary for the woman to have an orgasm to get pregnant. A woman of childbearing age usually releases an egg each month as part of her regular menstrual cycle. This occurs whether or not the woman has sex or an orgasm.

3. I won't get pregnant if I douche after sex.
Douching is not an effective method of contraception. After ejaculation, the sperm enter the cervix and are out of reach of any douching solution.

4. I don't need contraception because we only have sex during the "safe" time. You're only fertile one day a month.
Myths such as these most likely arise from a lack of understanding of the menstrual cycle. There are four major hormones (chemicals that stimulate or regulate the activity of cells or organs) involved in the menstrual cycle: follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH), luteinizing hormone (LH), estrogen, and progesterone. A delicate balance of these hormones regulates the release of an egg (ovulation), and if the egg is not fertilized, menstruation occurs. While a woman's cycle is more or less regular at most times, this balance of hormones can be disrupted by various factors, including age, stress, medications, etc. Therefore, pinpointing the time of ovulation and predicting any "safe" days can be difficult. Couples who have success with the rhythm method of contraception must carefully monitor the women's menstrual cycles and evaluate symptoms of ovulation, as well as any external factors.

5. I won't get pregnant if we have sex standing up or if I am on top.
Some people believe that having sex in certain positions, such as standing up, will force the sperm out of the woman's vagina. In truth, positions during sex have nothing to do with whether or not fertilization occurs. When a man ejaculates, the sperm are deposited well into the vagina. The sperm will, by nature, begin to move up through the cervical canal immediately after ejaculation.

6. You can use plastic wrap(Nylon) or a balloon if you don't have a condom (CAN U IMAGINE!!!).
Plastic wrap(Nylons) and balloons are not good to use as condoms. They don't fit well and can easily be torn during sex. Condoms are specifically made to provide a good fit and good protection during sex, and they are thoroughly tested for maximum effectiveness.Infact,how can somone think of that in a day and age like ours??

7. I won't get pregnant if my partner pulls out before he ejaculates .
They called that withdrawal method in Biology,in secondary school.Pulling out before the man ejaculates, known as withdrawal, is not a foolproof method for contraception. Some ejaculate (fluid that contains sperm) may be released before the man actually begins to climax. In addition, some men may not have the willpower or be able to withdraw in time.

8. I won't get pregnant because this is my first time having sex.
A woman can get pregnant any time ovulation occurs, even if it is your first time having sex.

9. I won't get pregnant if I take a shower or bath right after sex, or if I urinate right after sex.
Washing or urinating after sex will not stop the sperm that have already entered the uterus through the cervix.

10. The pill is always effective immediately after you begin taking it.
In some women, one complete menstrual cycle is needed for the hormones in the pill (oral contraceptive) to work with the woman's natural hormones to prevent ovulation. Some doctors recommend using a back-up method of birth control the first month of taking the pill.

The Five (Difficult) People You Meet at Work ... and How to Get Along With Them!!

The workplace, like anyplace you bring a bunch of people together, is a jumble of many different personalities. In addition to coworkers who are easy to work with, you will also find difficult people at work. What sets the workplace apart from many other places is that everyone -- even the difficult people -- must cooperate in order to be productive. Here are five types of difficult people you may meet at work and advice for getting along with each one.

The Chatterbox

Let's start with your most affable coworker. The chatterbox usually means well. She is friendly and wants to share all her thoughts (every last one of them) with you. She isn't trying to cause harm to anyone ... her incessant talking is just keeping you from concentrating on your work. Here are some things you can do to quiet down your chattering co-worker so you can get your job done. Rather than risk insulting your colleague, put the blame on yourself. Tell your coworker you have trouble concentrating while you are listening to her very engaging stories. You'd love to hear them at some other time, just not while you're working. Then, if you truly enjoy her company, have lunch with her once a week.

The Gossip
The gossip seems to know everything about everyone and he wants to share it. Should you listen to what your gossiping colleague has to say? Yes, you should listen to it since it is often a good way to hear news that may not make it through more formal information channels. The problem with gossip is that it carries both elements of truth and untruth, so view it with a cynical eye. Listen to your gossipy coworker quietly. Don't become a gossip too. However, if the gossip being shared is of a very personal nature, for example he shares with you news of another coworker's marital problems, change the subject or say that you don't feel right discussing someone behind his back.

The Complainer
There's always one person in a group who can never find anything about which to be happy. If she's not complaining about her health or her family, she's complaining about her job, the company, or your boss. Of course, some of her complaints may be legitimate, but the incessant whining is getting on your nerves. Generally, the complainer isn't looking for advice so offering it probably won't do any good. Change the subject whenever the bellyaching begins. Your colleague should get the hint after you do this repeatedly.

The Delegator
In almost every workplace you'll find someone who wants to share his work with his colleagues. We're not talking about those who have a legitimate reason to delegate work to others, for example managers or team leaders. We are speaking of those who either can't do all the work they have been given or don't want to do it. If team work is encouraged in your office and you have time to help your colleague you should. However, if managers are the only ones who have the authority to delegate and you already have your hands full, then you have to turn down the request. Tell your coworker you have your own work with which to deal.

The Credit Grabber
The credit grabber does not acknowledge any help she receives from others. She accepts all the praise for a project without mentioning that she didn't do it alone. The first time this happens, consider it a mistake. Mention it to your colleague and ask her to let others know about your participation. If she doesn't, or if this happens again, make sure you let others know about the role you played in getting a project done. Then, unless you are mandated to work with this person, refuse to help out again.

“Why should I hire you?"

The question above brings to my mind, the movie I saw 4 days ago- ‘21’ ; a classic movie about an MIT student, Ben Campbell, who is accepted into Harvard Medical School. He is interviewed as a potential candidate for the prestigious Robinson Scholarship, which will pay for all his school-related expenses. Despite boasting of fantastic scores at MIT, Ben is told that competition for the scholarship is very fierce, as there were peculiar people with mind blowing stories who also applied for the same scholarship. Hence, he is urged to write an essay which will make him stand out; in other words, an essay which will "dazzle" the recruiter; and I must tell you, he sure did dazzle him.

This is the classic question most of us hear during an interview. It's often preceded by the phrase, "I've already interviewed another person for this position who looks perfect." Then comes the killer question, "Why should I hire YOU?"

Be careful to avoid clever retorts or comedic one-liners here. Your interview is serious business and a wrong answer will send you packing. This is, in fact, the one question that interviewers like to ask because the answer can so easily separate the contenders from the also-rans. Give a wrong answer and the large "Game Over" sign flashes above your head.

The 'Story' Approach

What they really want to know is, "How are you different than all the other candidates who have applied for this position?" With this in mind, a good way to approach your answer here is to launch into your best "story" that answers this question (like Ben), "Will you go the extra mile?"

Why is the employer asking why they should hire you? Because there are only five areas of interest that they have about you as a candidate:

Your skills

Your knowledge about the company

Your manageability

Your affordability

Whether you can go above and beyond your job description

In this day of "lean and mean" operations philosophy, employers are looking for employees who can think bigger and perform duties above and beyond their jobs.

Demonstrate Your Accomplishments

Realize that there will always be competing candidates with a higher skill level, more experience, more education/training, or even a smoother interviewing style. The one equalizer though, is the ability to demonstrate how you have risen above and gone that extra mile to accomplish an important task, complete the job or realize an important goal.

Here, you recant that story of exactly how you worked 60-hour weeks, acquired new skills, or whatever it took to distinguish yourself and meet the challenge head on to successfully make the sale, save the project or rescue a client. If you can monetize (put a Naira value on) the end result, your story will only be that much more dramatic.

Tell It Often

Knowing this ahead of time; it's wise to put in the time beforehand to work on your answer to this question. Pick your best example of how you went above and beyond in your job. Work on your story to perfect it. Set the scene, describe the challenge and describe your role and the successful conclusion. Use this as an example of how you use your particular set of skills in an extraordinary time to "give it your all" and produce a clear benefit to your employer.

Since no other candidate can duplicate your own personal story here, you'll make a memorable impression. Not only that, but quite possibly you'll pull yourself ahead of that "perfect" candidate who preceded you.

How Can I Deal With A Difficult Co-Worker?

Answer: While people are different, there are some basic universal options for dealing with difficult co-workers. You can try one or more to improve your situation:



1. Go To H.R.- Whether you have a formal Human Resources department, or just one person who supervises everyone, there should be someone who's 'in charge' of employee peace-keeping. You can document your concerns and take them to this person. If you do, be specific about what is upsetting you. For example, don't say, 'This person is driving me crazy!', say, 'This person habitually asks me to do her work while she visits chat rooms', or whatever the case may be. Without making personal attacks, calmly state the behavior that's bothering you, and ask if something can be done.



2. Address The Offending Party Directly- The next time Your Nemesis does something that you object to, in an assertive (rather than aggressive) way, speak up. Politely, but firmly, say that you don't appreciate the off-color jokes, don't want to do their extra work, or tell them whatever else is on your mind. You may not get a positive response at first, but you may. And you'll also get the benefit of speaking your mind, and will at least get the message out there for everyone's consideration.



3. Let It Roll Off Your Back- If the problems don't affect you too strongly, you may choose to get better at ignoring them. This may seem difficult at first, but there's something to be said for choosing your battles. If you are dealing with someone who tells your secrets around the office, stop sharing them. If you're dealing with someone who has offensive body odor, stay at a comfortable distance. Not everything can be ignored, but by focusing on other things, some problems can bother you much less than you would think.



4. Look For A New Job- If you've talked to your co-worker, human resources, and everyone else there is to talk to, you can't live with the problem, and nothing else can be done to change it, and this person causes you significant daily stress, you may consider changing jobs. It's sad if things have to come to this, but there may be a better job out there for you, and you wouldn't have been seeking it out if you didn't have a difficult co-worker prompting you to make a change. There are potential positives in every situation. The trick is to find them.

White boy sings Gongo aso!!!

You know what this guy's singing???I guess you know already by the topic...Click here to see...Its really funny and nice.

Why do some talented executives fail?part 5

5) Bulldozing the Competition

"Most of us learn early on to play nicely with the other children," write Waldroop and Butler, "but some of us don't." Extreme examples of such people who never learn to get along with others are called bulldozers. Like an offensive lineman in football, the bulldozer's goal is to flatten people, and to run roughshod over them as necessary.

Although bulldozers love to think of themselves as irresistible forces, ultimately they run into a real immovable object, something they cannot plow through, and because they never learned the skill of moving around resistance, they are defeated. Of the twelve behavior patterns Waldroop and Butler describe in their book, eleven of them are as likely to be women as men. But not the bulldozer. Although a few women do fit this pattern — women such as Margaret Thatcher and Leona Helmsley — bulldozing is a condition that is almost exclusively male.

According to Waldroop and Butler, bulldozers view any and all situations as zero-sum games and adversarial in nature. They focus only on how to get the biggest piece of the pie — if not all of it. Some bulldozers manifest their behavior by monopolizing air time in meetings and by instantly squashing any opposition. Others achieve their goals through simple intimidation — using a domineering physical presence or a steely glare to get their way.

Fortunately, the world has evolved in a number of ways over recent years to render people who exhibit this behavior pattern increasingly obsolete. Bulldozers might have been okay people to have around in a manufacturing based economy where assignments are generally clear and straightforward. But bulldozers generally fall down in face-to-face service relationships with customers where they have to read what people are thinking and adjust their tactics accordingly.

Like the other Achilles' heels, bulldozing is a correctable flaw, but it takes a lot of work. The motto of the recovering bulldozer must become "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" — the Golden Rule or the Law of Reciprocity. Because the fatal flaw of the bulldozer is a lack of empathy, taking the time to think about and understand how other people feel is the only way out of this rut. On the other hand, because of their energy and tenacity, a reformed bulldozer can actually be a valuable asset to any organization — but it's rare that people who exhibit these traits are ever able to stick around long enough to get a second chance.

Putting It All Together

In the cases of Paul the acrophobic banker and Stephanie the hero, who were briefly profiled above, their Achilles' heels were nearly their undoing. But having potentially fatal flaws, as they did, does not have to result in career stagnation or termination. In fact, Waldroop and Butler would argue that we all have Achilles' heels of one sort or another. It's just that some of us have learned to manage them successfully, while others of us allow them to hold us down.
Executive coaches can provide their clients with some of the tools that Paul and Stephanie didn't have. Learning to recognize the ways you — and all of us — engage in behaviors that create our own "glass ceilings" will enable us to break through them and achieve the success we deserve.

Why do some talented executives fail?part 4

4) Avoiding Conflict at Any Cost

A peacekeeper is someone who is determined to avoid conflict at any cost. In doing so, peacekeepers believe that they are both protecting themselves from harm, and preserving the orderly functioning of their organizations. On both counts, say Waldroop and Butler, peacekeepers are terribly wrong. In fact, they argue that peacekeeping is an insidious behavior that can ultimately undermine relationships and destroy organizations.

Anger and its resolution are essential components of the human experience. The cost of suppressing one's emotions may not show up early in a career. When you're first starting out, you're expected to watch, listen and learn. But, inevitably, getting to the top of an organization requires a willingness to take risks and battle rivals. And once on top, a leader sometimes has to require subordinates to do things they don't necessarily want to do.

When Waldroop and Butler coach compulsive peacekeepers, they have two goals: to desensitize them to conflict, and to build their skills at handling conflict. With this approach, they help their clients to become stronger until they are able to take on the toughest situations at work and in their personal lives. Being able to deal with conflict effectively is both an essential survival skill, and a sure-fire ticket to career success.

Why do some talented executives fail?part 3

3) Doing Too Much, Pushing Too Hard

"As far back as she could remember, Stephanie made extraordinary demands on herself. It wasn't enough that she was an A student from as far back as she could remember, she insisted on extra-credit work as well. She was also class president, a member of the debating team, a devoted gymnast and head of the drama club.

"At first, Stephanie's obsession with taking on more and more responsibility, and working harder than anyone around her, was a source of amusement to her friends. But later in college, and when she entered the world of work, the smiles began to fade." Stephanie had developed what Waldroop and Butler refer to as a "hero" behavior pattern, and by the time she'd reached her mid-20's, virtually no one could stand to be around her.

Waldroop and Butler stress that setting goals and working hard to achieve them is never a bad thing. But, in their view, heroes tend to bite off more than they can chew, and are never satisfied with what they've accomplished.

Heroes, they say, may find a decent fit as a management consultant or some other type of independent contributor, but they will never succeed in a traditional slow-growth company where teamwork is highly valued. This is because heroes never seem to understand that the people who work around and under them sometimes need a rest, and in doing so they often drive people away, which can be deadly for an organization.

That said, of all the Achilles' heels discussed in the book, the hero probably has the greatest potential for enormous career success. The world needs heroes but only those who have learned to slow down once in awhile, and be compassionate and understanding of others. Otherwise, they may find themselves mortally wounded like the original hero Achilles himself, undone by their very acts of heroism.

Why do some talented executives fail,part 2

2) Seeing the World in Black and White

"Sometimes the world behaves in wonderfully rational ways," say Waldroop and Butler, "but most of the time, it doesn't. We see this every time someone gets a job because of 'connections,' or children of alumni in many private schools get preference over other applicants."

Despite the fact that most of us learn about these things at an early age, some folks apparently never moderate their faith in the perfect rationality of the world. Waldroop and Butler refer to these people as meritocrats — people who blindly insist that virtually everything in life must be judged strictly rationally on its own inherent merit, refusing to see even shades of gray. Emotions, politics, sentimentality, loyalty and favoritism play absolutely no part. Meritocrats, write Waldroop and Butler, consistently talk about the way things "should be," not the way things actually are. It's almost as if the meritocrat lives in a remote parallel universe, but unfortunately it is a world that exists only in his or her mind.

Meritocrats almost always undermine their own careers by continually "fighting the good fight" at work until they exasperate their peers, supporters and superiors. For example, one client named "Dan," went to work in a family business straight out of college — someone else's family, not his. He knew from the beginning what the situation was and that he would never get a share of the business. Moreover, he knew that the several members of the family his age and younger would have a much greater say in how the business was to be run.

Dan, who was a very hard worker, had bought into this arrangement with open eyes, but he couldn't help himself from pointing out to anyone who would listen about how unfair the whole situation was. One day, he confronted his boss with his perspective on the situation. The owner's response was that he understood how Dan felt, but he was still going to hand the family business over to his sons, and if he felt that strongly about it he should leave. If only Dan, a consummate meritocrat had understood himself and his needs better, he probably never would have accepted that job in the first place.

People who are extreme meritocrats are relatively rare in business and are rarely very successful in that forum, because business dealings almost always involve a compromise with perfection. The authors argue that people who exhibit strong meritocratic tendencies are better suited to careers such as science or engineering, where black and white quests for perfection are generally better tolerated.

Why do some talented executives fail? part 1

And why do others often fail to be effective, or as successful as they should be?

In their book, Maximum Success: Changing the Twelve Behavior Patterns That Keep You From Getting Ahead, James Waldroop and Timothy Butler identify twelve behavior patterns — what they call "Achilles' heels" — that can harm, or seriously hinder, a person's career development. In their roles as consultants and executive coaches to many Fortune 500 companies, they offer invaluable job-saving advice on how readers can modify their behavior to get things back on track.

Behaviors That Can Hold You Back

Here are five behavior patterns that can be highly destructive to your career. Please note that the following stories of real-life individuals illustrate a "pure case" of the behavior in question. Although these stories are actually quite interesting, please do not make the mistake of comparing yourself to those worst case examples.
Chances are, you aren't in half as much trouble as some of these people. But even the occasional display of some of these behaviors — especially as you move upward in an organization — can do substantial damage to your ultimate career success. Although the book identifies twelve behavior patterns, here are only five of the behaviors, starting with...

1) Never Feeling Good Enough

"In a world overpopulated with enormous egos, 40-year old Paul seemed to be an anomaly," begins the first of Waldroop and Butler's twelve case studies. "He actually had an ego that was too small for his considerable abilities and new position as head of the Mexican arm of an international bank based in Dallas, Texas.

"Although he had never been a manager, Paul had considerable know-how as a banker and Latin America was his specialty. Moreover, Paul had succeeded at everything he had ever done and had been a top student in both college and graduate business school. But in his new position, Paul was suddenly a misfit — or so he felt. He was self-conscious and awkward, and unable to speak with authority. Instead of strolling through the offices in comfortable command, Paul scurried down the halls with an intense, inner-directed gaze that signaled to everyone that he was in trouble. His body language broadcast concern, discomfort and even isolation. His discomfort soon began to show, and his clients and subordinates also began to get quite edgy themselves."
Paul's actions and feelings fall into a pattern that Waldroop and Butler describe as a kind of career-related acrophobia. Paul's insecurity was born of his innate belief that he was incapable of surviving at the heights he had somehow scaled. He felt in his heart of hearts that he didn't deserve to be where he had been placed, which is a feeling a surprising number of people have to a greater or lesser extent.

How can someone like Paul who habitually feels and acts this way acclimate and learn to love the heights? As Paul was counseled, it became clear that he would have to learn to carry himself in a way that reflected his ability and the capacity for command he had inside. He was coached to adopt the look of someone who is full of confidence, even if he didn't feel that way inside. They coached him to walk slowly, to talk slowly and even to eat slowly.

Those simple gestures seemed superficial at first, but coupled with some other interventions, they actually worked. Over a period of months, Paul's clients and employees began to see him as a relaxed, confident leader, and Paul responded by developing even more self-assurance.

Female Orgasms: Myths and Facts

Anorgasmia is an inability to reach orgasm and is thought to occur in about 10% of women. Anorgasmia may be either primary (the woman has never been able to reach an orgasm by any means) or secondary (an orgasm was experienced at some point in the past). It may also be global (orgasm is not experienced by any means) or situational (orgasm may be experienced in certain sexual situations but not others; for example, with manual stimulation but not with intercourse).

Just because some lucky ones can have the luxury of orgasms doesnt mean every woman can; so read and learn.

There are several myths regarding orgasm. These myths can sometimes cause problems for women and their partners.

Myth:
An orgasm is always an earth-moving experience and there is something wrong with a woman if she is unable to reach orgasm.

Fact:
Some women have orgasms and don’t know it. Some women do not experience orgasm in the sense of feeling their pelvic floor muscles contract. They do however reach a peak of arousal after which they feel very relaxed and contented, the same feelings other women experience after orgasm. By contrast, women who get very aroused and do not experience orgasm will sometimes feel "nervous" or "edgy" or even an aching discomfort in their pelvis.

Myth:
"Normal" women reach orgasm through intercourse.

Fact:
Only about a third of women experience orgasm regularly during intercourse. A third can reach orgasm with intercourse but need extra stimulation. A third never achieve orgasm during intercourse but can by manual and oral stimulation. Having orgasms by means other than intercourse is a normal variation of female sexuality. In the past, people thought that "mature" women had their orgasms with intercourse; you will sometimes run across an older book that has this view. However, laboratory studies in the 1960’s showed that an orgasm is an orgasm no matter which way you obtain it. How a woman reaches an orgasm has nothing to do with her mental health or emotional maturity.

Myth:
Inability to reach orgasm, or anorgasmia means a woman is "frigid" or that there is something seriously wrong with her or her relationship.

Fact:
§ Women who were able to have orgasms in the past but can no longer do so may be suffering from a medical problem or a side effect from medication.
§ Women who have never had an orgasm may never have learned what type and duration of stimulation they need.

Myth:
If a woman cannot reach orgasm, then her partner is not a skillful lover.

Fact:
While there are many ways a loving partner can help a woman reach orgasm, in the end, a woman is responsible for her own sexual pleasure. That does not mean her partner should not be involved. Communication between partners is very important. It is up to the woman to inform her partner her likes and dislikes in their love making.

Myth:
A woman has to have an orgasm in order to enjoy sex. This myth seems to be more common among men than among women.

Fact:
Many women enjoy the closeness and physical intimacy of sex and are satisfied even if they do not, or do not always, have an orgasm.

What can you do?

Relax
It is possible to try too hard. Focus on enjoying the process, not on whether or not you will have an orgasm.

Communicate

Communicate with your partner your preferences when it comes to sex. Your partner cannot read your mind.

Encourage

If you or your partner are doing something pleasurable, encourage your mate to continue.

Enjoy
Learn to enjoy and feel comfortable with your sexuality. Your current inability to have an orgasm is not a reflection of your femininity, your psychological or emotional health. Putting yourself down just makes it that much more difficult.

Fantasize
Some women have trouble concentrating during sex. If that is the case, you may wish to fantasize, i.e., thinking about something sexual may excite you and may reduce negative emotions. If you feel that you are very close to achieving an orgasm, alternate tightening and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles. This may sometimes trigger a real orgasm.

Arouse
For some couples, love making ends once the man ejaculates. Often, at this point the woman is very aroused. If this is the case, you might ask your partner to continue stimulating you with his hands or his mouth once he is finished. Some women feel uncomfortable doing this, thinking that this would be selfish or that their partner would be bored. In fact, your partner may enjoy giving you pleasure. Rather than being selfish, you are giving your partner the chance to please you.

What about Vibrators?
Vibrators, either plug-in or cordless, supply more intense stimulation than can be obtained with either intercourse or manual stimulation. They can be especially helpful if you have an illness that makes it hard to reach orgasm, such as multiple sclerosis. They can be used by you or together with your partner as part of your love making.

FAFFING!!!

OMG!!There’s something called faffing online….I dint know that. I just thought it was a general slang used in my office when you’re busy doing nothing. In my last thought post on Schindler elevators, I wanted to express myself in the best possible way I could without confusing people. I couldn’t just think of another word except for this word; so I decided to Google it and lo and behold, there it was with 175,000 hits. Well maybe part of that was some other meaning to it, or someone’s nick name or some independent website, it sure brought out the actual meaning of what I understood to be faffing,unlike our typical naija slangs such as fashy,toast,chyke etc.

Faff is actually a british slang which means To waste time on an unproductive activity according to the wikipedia dictionary- wiktionary. The Cambridge International Dictionary of Phrasal Verbs defines faff as spending time doing a lot of unimportant things instead of the thing one should be doing.

Everybody faffs,that I can assure you,the level just differs;or how else can you describe your getting to work late when you actually woke up early enough to do all the things you were supposed to do; or checking out your friends’ pictures on facebook and making funny remarks/comments, chatting with an old friends or gisting with colleagues when you’re actually supposed to be working? Infact, you wouldn’t be reading this if you weren’t faffing. Well, incase you don’t know how to faff at work, trust me, you know how, you just didn’t know that’s what you’ve been doing. I’m sure everyone faffs at one point or the other.

The internet has been the best thing to happen to the world at large, its also the quickest and sweetest faffing tool. A friend of mine working in a bank told me once that they had to remove the internet at their office at some point because all the guys had a standing page for pornography minimized for their faffing time; can you just beat that?

There are actually one thousand and one ways to faff online,however, I bet majority of these organizations in Lagos disable some sites or minimize access to downloading and other stuff that can improve productive faffing. Well, for the lucky ones who still having maximum access to many things on the internet,there are lots of free mp3 downloading sites for those who love music/movies,free video downloading sites,free games ,jokes, cartoons,etc…Just google it.Then facebook,major faffing site.

Well, if you can’t faff online, there are other ways you can do it without being caught. If you start goofing off for hours at a time, you’ll get caught and fired. You can faff in small ways. You may find some of the following tips useful for effective and efficient faffing.This info however is for those who are bored or don’t have much work to do.

Drink Lots of Water: Water, Tea and Coffee make you urinate quicker and more often than other drinks. No one can blame you for normal bodily functions. Only a real jerk of a boss will yell at you for taking a leak.

Be Clean: While you’re in the bathroom take an extra couple of seconds to wash your hands thoroughly. I see too many people rush through this exercise. Take your time washing your hands and most people will not notice. Barely get the tips of your fingers wet as you run out the bathroom door and everyone avoids touching things you touch.

Be Sloppy: A good hour or two can be used for faffing every few weeks if you keep your desk a mess. Friday afternoons and Monday mornings are perfect times to set aside for cleaning up your work area. Just say you want things neat for yourself when you start the week and "wah-lah" you have just made some time for yourself refiling papers, rearranging pens in your desk, and categorizing your push pins by color.

Naps: Lots of people want to take naps at work. This is very dangerous and should only be attempted by the most seasoned napper. No matter how many news magazines do stories on how taking naps improve employee performance in other countries, you will never be paid to sleep in ‘non ministry environment’ ,especially in a bank. The bank work ethic hates sleep, even the good “8 hours a night” kind. If you must take a nap you might try this idea.

Nap #643 -- Fill a coffee mug. Find a low traffic area in the office and spill the contents of the mug on the floor. Lay down on the floor face first with your coffee mug laying on the spill. The purpose is to make it look like you fell, passed out or tripped on something. After you place yourself in position, go to sleep. If someone finds you, they’ll rush to your aide. Have an excuse ready. They’ll think you are hurt or sick, they can even send you home, and there you can continue with your nap.Never repeat this exercise in the same location and don’t do it too often. This nap will be less effective if you snore. If you snore while you sleep it’s tougher to pass off sleep as unconsciousness.

Office Conversations: Enter business conversations around the office that are taking place in the open. You don’t have to be a part of the conversation very much. The important thing is to be there physically. Just nod your head a few times. Beware that others in the conversation may turn to you for comment. You’ll need to be prepared with a good quick exit line or a response. One good answer that can buy time is, “I’m sorry, I was thinking about how we’re going to manage to do everything on time and still stay on budget.” They’ll either repeat the question or continue without your input. If they do the latter, you might want to excuse yourself and move on back to your desk.

Meetings: Go to every meeting that is appropriate for you to attend. Everyone knows meetings are a colossal waste of time, so use them. You’d be surprised at how many people miss the opportunity at wasting time by ducking out of or avoiding meetings. Once you’re in meeting, it’s all about you. You can plan your weekend, think about the game you watched the night before, or fantasize about that trip you wanted to make.

I hope these tips help you be more productive in faffing. Remember, this is when you’re bored,tired or idle. With a little effort no one will ever know how well you faff.

On a final note; answer these questions honestly to reveal the true extent of your faffiness.

1. Is your idea of acquiring information:

A) Reading the Financial Times/ Wall Street Journal
B) Reading Guns! Tanks! Combat! War! magazine.
C) Titting about on the Internet for hours.

2. The alarm clock sounds: you have one hour to get ready for work. Do you:
A) Shower, dress, quickly make a light breakfast and leave for work with time to spare.
B) Curse loudly,wake up your partner demanding they make you breakfast and march into work hitting people on the way.
C) Keep pressing the ‘snooze’ button on your alarm so you wake up half an hour later than you should; spend 15 minutes hunting for matching socks/shirt rush frantically about looking for your wallet/purse saying to yourself ‘I know I’ve seen it somewhere’; leave the house late and hungry and then return 10 minutes later because you forgot the wallet/purse you’d just found.

3.You go to a bar to buy yourself a drink. Do you:

A) Order a drink of your choice, pay for it and return to your chair.
B) Spit at the bar-staff to catch their attention, complain about the drink when it’s poured, and stand near the bar’s entrance waiting for someone to knock into you so you can start a fight.
C) Sidle indecisively to the bar, ponder a while about which drink to buy, tentatively order ‘’and then change your mind just as they start pouring it.

4.You visit a supermarket to buy your weekly shopping. Do you:

A) Consult a pre-prepared shopping list, locate and collect the desired items quickly and pay for the goods with the correct money.
B) Wait outside the store until a flustered housewife exits, knock her unconscious with a pistol butt and then steal her shopping.
C) Spend ages mulling over which brand of fish-fingers to buy; keep putting things into your basket then putting them back on the shelves; chat to the attendant about nothing for 15 minutes; and upon reaching the counter pay for the three items you finally decided upon with a cheque, which you write out incorrectly. Three times.

5.You are a man determined to ask a girl who lives 2 streets away from yours. Do you:

A) Suavely present her with flowers and invite her out for a meal.
B) Ambush her on her way home from work, knock her out, relieve your lust on her bleeding face and remove her skin to make a coat.
C) Spend days deciding whether to buy her flowers or chocolates and end up buying neither; resolve to ask her out that night but miss her because you spent too long shaving; see her the next night and say, 'Would you like to go to the movies tomorrow, with me that is, yes, I was wondering if you’d like to accompany me to the movies tomorrow... tomorrow if that’s OK with... don’t you get sick of the movies, you know, with working here and all?... I suppose you must, yes... oh well...ahem... maybe not then... errm... oh dear.'

6.You’re on an okada and the bikeman suddenly starts to fiddle with his controls, eventually the bike stops . Seeing you stranded, an elderly female motorist stops by and offers you a lift. Do you:

A) Say 'thank you' and get in the car.
B) Grab the driver’s throat, headbutt the bridge of her nose and leave her for dead.
C) Wander angst ridden around her car, scratching your head, saying 'Well, it’s a kind offer, but...hmmm...’

HOW DO YOU RATE?

MOSTLY A - You are a faffless individual, smooth and efficient to the point of creepy. Likely to be a ruthless assassin, kerb-crawler or accountant. Or all three. You should think about relaxing a little and allowing a few more faffy moments to enter your life.
MOSTLY B - You’re not very nice, are you?
MOSTLY C - A top-league faffer, up there with the all-time greats. You are invited to a special awards ceremony where you should be presented with a commemorative diary you will never use. Welcome to the honourable world of faffdom!

Schindler elevators!!!

Its thinking time for me.Y?Because my boss isn’t around to keep me in the busy mode. Many times when I find my self in this state, I swirl my chair around to face the window and just look around or stare into space.

My office is on the 10th floor so my window overlooks a lot of places,the car park,Union Bank building,UBA, First Bank towers,Niger Insurance and many more building on Lagos Island.I can also see the National theater- distant, the third main-land bridge and the lagoon it crosses. I’ve got a very good view from my tiny cubicle I must say.

Yes,I’m sure you’re wondering whats with the topic…Shindler Elevators installed the elevator on our building, hence they are incharge of repair and maintenance.That elevator is the most unhealthy one I have come across in my whole life…While I was staring out my window, just doing some general faffing and a bit of thinking,I saw their van at the car park. Now I tell you that I see this van atleast 4 times in the 5working days we have, meaning the elevator’s faulty again,WTF…sorry WTH.I pity the unlucky person trapped in the elevator this time or the runner who’s got to go on an errand downstairs; cos he’ll have to climb the flight of stairs to and fro.For me,I dare not go for lunch at this crucial time- not that I’m lazy but truth be told,Its not easy climbing up 10 floors.

Was reading a friend’s blog sometime and he said he was trapped in the elevator for close to an hour.He had gone out to buy dinner and was heading home to eat what he had bought probably with a chilled bottle of drink he had saved up in the fridge watching his favorite tv series,or just doing dinner with his friends on the floor with their food spread out infront of them…Alas their expectations was cut short as they ended up eating in the elevator waiting for someone to help them escape.

Have you ever been trapped in an elevator with someone you’ve always wished to talk to and you just haven’t had that opportunity? Probably a girl/guy you like, or maybe your MD? What would you do/ say?

I remember those days in AIESEC, the MC used to ask this question during the ‘marketing/selling yourself’ session, if you happen to be in the same elevator with Bill Gates, what would you do/ say in the couple of seconds/minutes you have with him? My flat mate once told me she was in the same elevator with the CEO of Obat oil, Chief Obateru Akinruntan; and the only thing she did was say hi to him and secretly marvel at his height and good looks. She also told me how young he looked to be a CEO and a chief. Girls!! you would say. Well, that’s the average girl for you.

I’m imagining being on the same elevator with Wale Babalakin (my chairman) or Erastus Akingbola (MD,Intercontinental Bank) or Femi Otedola (MD Zenon) or Mike Adenuga (Chairman Globacom);will I be dumbfounded?Will I loose my voice…What will I say in the 1minute or so I find myself with any of these people.Thats some serious thought there that I have to put down sometime.

I think you should think about it too.

Why People Become Overweight.

Everyone knows some people who can eat ice cream, cake, and whatever else they want and still not gain weight. At the other extreme are people who seem to gain weight no matter how little they eat. Why? What allows one person to remain thin without effort but demands that another struggle to avoid gaining weight or regaining the pounds he or she has lost?

The simple answer is that your weight depends on the number of calories you consume, how many of those calories you store, and how many you burn up. The balance of calories stored and burned depends on your genetic make-up, your level of physical activity, and your resting energy expenditure (the number of calories your body burns while at rest). If you consistently burn all of the calories that you consume in the course of a day, you will maintain your weight. If you consume more energy (calories) than you expend, you will gain weight.

Excess calories are stored throughout your body as fat. Your body stores this fat within specialized fat cells (adipose tissue) — either by enlarging fat cells, which are always present in the body, or by creating more of them. If you decrease your food intake and consume fewer calories than you burn up, or if you exercise more and burn up more calories, your body will reduce some of your fat stores. When this happens, fat cells shrink, along with your waistline.

The more complex issue is why some people store more calories than they burn. Is it a matter of will power? Do overweight people simply eat too much and exercise too little? Until recently, even weight-loss experts could not agree on the answers.

Some experts argued that the explanation was genetic: that some people are genetically destined to be thin, others to be overweight. They suggested that these people have thrifty metabolisms, which conserve energy and predispose them toward fat storage. Other experts pointed out that many features of modern life promote weight gain. For example, we don’t get enough physical activity because we drive to work and spend much of our day sitting at computer terminals. We have trouble finding the time to go to the gym, play a sport, or exercise in other ways because we work long hours. With the majority of mothers now in the work force, working parents have the extra pressure of coming home and caring for children after a long workday. Perhaps we overeat because practically everywhere we go — shopping centers, sports stadiums, movie theaters, and so on — fast-food restaurants and snack bars tempt us with oversized portions of high-calorie foods and drinks. In short, these environmental factors lead us to eat too much and get too little physical activity, with the result that many people are overweight or obese.

Still other experts stressed that people’s eating habits and weight are related to how they handle stress and cope with difficult situations. Many people who are overweight also suffer from depression and other emotional conditions that may exacerbate their tendency to overeat.

Now, weight-loss researchers recognize that all three of these factors — genetics, environment, and psychological issues — can contribute to weight disorders. Most overweight people are genetically predisposed to being overweight. But many of these people wouldn’t be overweight in an environment that promoted healthier food choices and encouraged physical activity. Because of these genetic and environmental influences, most people who become overweight have trouble losing weight and keeping it off. This difficulty understandably leads to frustration that can cause depression, anxiety, binge eating disorder, and even bulimia. These psychological complications may interfere with healthy eating and exercise habits, leading to further weight gain and a vicious cycle that only magnifies the problem. Many people have the experience of losing weight only to gain back even more and then repeat this cycle many times over the years.

These three factors — genetics, environment, and psychology — do not affect all overweight people to the same degree. For some people, the cause is so strongly genetic that they would be overweight regardless of other factors. For others, the genetic predisposition to be overweight is less powerful, and environmental factors have the dominant role. The foods these people eat; how much, how often, and when they eat; and the lack of time for physical activity conspire to make them gain weight. For some people, emotions play a dominant role, either because they tend to overeat in response to stressful situations or because they use food to diminish the effects of psychological trauma.

To optimize your chances for maintaining a healthy weight, think about which of these factors contributes to your weight problem. Understanding the role of these factors can help you determine the best approach to achieving and maintaining a healthy weight.

Seeing ourselves clearly matters.

. It allows us to control impulses and select the most appropriate behaviors.

. It shows us how to avoid reacting in negative and potentially
self-limiting ways.

. Knowing our strengths and limitations makes us more understanding
of others.

. Gaining an understanding of issues reduces conflict in ourselves
and in others.

Throughout life we continuously learn about our personal style and
preferences, leadership development, interpersonal communication,
stress management and coping skills. Becoming more self-aware
gives us great leverage in consciously exhibiting the type of behavior
that gets us where we want to be.

Interested in taking an online self-assessment to get to know yourself?
Just go to: http://www.selfassessmentcenter.com/

Why not get to know yourself better today?

Why do stars twinkle?

I remember back then in secondary school in FGGC Sagamu;in JS3 or SS1(dont remember exactly when),the lights in the whole block got spoilt and we had to observe our prep time outsde;under the moon and stars.We would try counting the stars,observing which was twinkling and which wasnt;which was bright and which looked quite distant...Infact we gave funny reasons why stars twinkle and why some just stayed bright in the sky ,not twinkling.

The scientific name for the twinkling of stars is stellar scintillation (or astronomical scintillation). Stars twinkle when we see them from the Earth's surface because we are viewing them through thick layers of turbulent (moving) air in the Earth's atmosphere.

Stars (except for the Sun) appear as tiny dots in the sky; as their light travels through the many layers of the Earth's atmosphere, the light of the star is bent (refracted) many times and in random directions (light is bent when it hits a change in density - like a pocket of cold air or hot air). This random refraction results in the star winking out (it looks as though the star moves a bit, and our eye interprets this as twinkling).

Stars closer to the horizon appear to twinkle more than stars that are overhead - this is because the light of stars near the horizon has to travel through more air than the light of stars overhead and so is subject to more refraction. Also, planets do not usually twinkle, because they are so close to us; they appear big enough that the twinkling is not noticeable (except when the air is extremely turbulent). Stars would not appear to twinkle if we viewed them from outer space (or from a planet/moon that didn't have an atmosphere).

Everyone's so busy with one thing or the other to actually appreciate the little things we see around us.Why not take a walk on a really bright night and behold the beautiful works of nature God's deposited high above us in the sky.

Brain drain

Its exactly 3.45pm and I tell you,its been a crazy day for me.I hink I've transversed half of lagos on foot if it can be matched with the amount of walking I've had to go today,climbing 10 floors stairs and all.Tired now but since I promised myself to write something here,and its my first day,I've just got to do it then.

Brain drain....

This phrase is the motivating factor behind this blog.I came across it on friday while I was reading one of Coach John G. Agno's leadership blog tips.Infact,since I subscribed on this blog and some others,I've realized how ignorant I've been on certain issues and particular words/ phrases and this particular topic made me think about developing an archive for all I learn everyday,meaning I've got to learn something new everyday.

Wikipedia defines Brain Drain as a large emigration of individuals with technical skills or knowledge, normally due to conflict,lack of opportunity,political instability or health risks.A brain drain is usually regarded as an economic cost,since emigrants usually take with them the fraction of value of their training sposored by the government.

The opposite of brain drain is brain gain, which occurs when there is a large-scale immigration of technically qualified persons it can be stopped by providing an individual with lot of opportunity and giving a platform to them to prove their capability.

Brain drains are common amongst developing nations, particularly former colonies like much of Africa or the island nations of the Caribbean.

Brain Drain in Nigeria

For the past two decades, Nigerian academics and professionals in search of better conditions for contemplative inquiry have continued to flock in droves to developed nations. The tragedy is that the situation at home has not improved. The brain drain phenomenon continues to pose a threat to the Nigerian economy especially in the academic system as even university lecturers and scolars are emigrating as well.

The current rate of brain drain in Nigeria is mostly a function of the present economic depression in Nigeria – a depression caused by some ignorant, selfish, inconsiderate, mindless looters of Nigerian treasury. These sadists, often called leaders, have looted (and continue to loot) Nigerian coffer only to pile up the contents in their private foreign bank accounts. Consequently, greener pastures -- i.e., jobs -- are created abroad while Nigeria has no pasture.
Therefore, being deprived of a greener pasture, coupled with the desperate need to feed their families and relatives, especially those at home, some Nigerian brains are essentially forced to travel and remain abroad.

But, while the search for greener pasture explains, in part, the current brain drain in Nigeria, there is no doubt that brain drain has become a crucial part of the problems of development in Nigeria.

Today, there are many Nigerian bankers, business managers, computer scientists, pharmacists, engineers, journalists, lawyers, medical doctors, nurses, pharmacists, professors, and scientists in the West. These educated Nigerians abroad are basically making little or no contribution toward the task of developing Nigeria; the West is mostly the beneficiary of their talents. As it stands now, the West is not only enjoying the money stolen from Nigeria by those sadists, it is also milking Nigerian human resources. Definitely, something must be done to stop brain drain and its associated problems of development in Nigeria.

What do you think?